A Full Ramadan Home
The most unpleasant of all experiences in life could be the fondest memory, one that would render you longing to escape the present and flee to the past. I feel as though the past has taken with it my youth. Sometimes I feel so old and weary and hollow. Other times I feel like I'm not myself. Where has that person I once was disappeared to? Those days of no consequences are well over and unlike many individuals who triumphed no sooner after their careers take flight, I think mine will take a long time before taking off, if not won't fly at all. My dreams and hopes slowly trampled perhaps by my own choice of career and the lack of morale for anything.This morning I wrote my cousin who is still in the UK. It was meant for me to request smoked mackarel on my mother's behalf through my visiting aunt. But the material substance never got there. It was just me twirling with my own thoughts and emotions. It's a short note but it means dearly to me. Never mind the people who cannot fathom... The truth is I love celebrating Eid abroad. Sometimes I think I love it more than I do here... because it was different and melancholic, hence it made me more aware of the true meaning of Ramadan & Syawal. The moderation and humility throughout the process, everything felt quaint, peaceful and surreal all at once. Then the big day arrived. As if I'd been gathering momentum, all feelings were suddenly replaced by pure bliss. Even walking to prayer clad in baju kurung was exciting. I was 6 again, ecstatic at boasting my new clothes and the prospect of receiving heaps of green packets, though the money never came. But now... here... it's all about the food. Aint that contradictory.
Edi,
Assalamualaikum! Heard that ur parents decided to come back early. Is
Zafran still there tho? I hope u r having a wonderful Ramadan over there.
And the forthcoming Syawal to boot. I missed having iftar in the middle of
a lecture with a bottle of water and a bar of chocolate or banana... it's
not a great way to break fast but surely is one kind that I;d cherish.
Anyway, K Birah nak wish u selamat berpuasa and selamat menyambut hari
raya... be a good boy, take care and tell rin to reply my email ok? I guess
u already heard the story abt the shoe... bye!
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