GoalSetter GoGetter
I looked at the clock on the bottom right hand corner of the toolbar. 6.02pm. I glanced at my own wristwatch. 6.17 pm. Spot on. As you can see my personal timer is deliberately set 15 minutes ahead. These days, I'm hardly late.I haven't done Asar & I have tonnes of workstuff that I am supposed to parallelly process but what have I achieved this week long? I told myself that staying behind and go for the makan-makan straight from work will do me plenty of good but look at what I'm up to now?
I want to savour the sweetness of success, every bit of it when it comes but when will it? Will it ever? I hate the uncertainties of life. I hate the wide trophy smiles on the triumphant faces on the cover of a glossy magazine or a feature in the Biz section in the papers. Wait! No! I don't hate them for how could one hate without knowing another. I envy them... Plain simple jealousy. How far have I fallen behind in the goal-setters go-getters march.. I wonder..
This year, I pronounce, the dullest, most unillustrious year of my life with everything behaving like a dampen pendulum, harmonically going up but never actually getting there. And I deserve an award for being a downright slacker who used to have a huge go at slackers. I'm cataloguing potential vendors and plaques for the contractors' appreciation token. Might as well reserve one specially embossed for myself.
Then there was Eid. Thank God for Eid. Long break needless of reason. Best thing about this Eid break was having unnaturally completely rested. No dreams in my sleep of which details still lurk during the day awake. Only lazy days with baking, cleaning, occasional visits at the relatives donning hypocrisy and bits and pieces of activities here and there.
Lately, I have this inexplicable desire to do PhD. Well perhaps desire is a word too definitive to describe the present situation in which I find myself toying with the idea. If academic is the only thing I happen to be quite good at, why not aye? In PE? Maybe.. but that would be too typical of me. I want to take up something more human-centered like sociology or political science. If I do the latter, one possible scenario is to become an educator/lecturer and a few years further down the road, get banished from the institute for joining DAP. Wouldn't that be fun.
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